If your getting chap lips from the chilly 67 degree weather here in Hawaii, you should definetly get the NEW Blistex Lip Infusion lip balm. It’s as good as sex but with more Penetrating Moisturization (according to Blistex). It only took 71 years since the invention of the ball point pen did they realize that a giant version for lips would be a good idea.

Whats this? iMacs running Windows and PCs running OSX? Oh noes! This is not natural. Its like waking up one day to find that men can have babies and women can pee standing up. It’s not suppose to be that way!

?

I was about to give up on polls until i found this:

POLL

I think you can all join me in saying, ah hmmmmmmm

If you think Kathy Griffin is funny, you should join her in that hell. A hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theaters. Kathy Griffin is the most annoying, stuck up, pompous bitch of a red head in existence. Saying she is a comedian is the only joke worth laughing about. It even pains me to mention her, but alas there is an amusing feud with her and Speildberg on a joke about Dakota.

Film-maker STEVEN SPIELBERG has infuriated US comedienne KATHY GRIFFIN by pressuring her to apologise after she joked his 10-year-old acting protegee DAKOTA FANNING had been admitted to rehab.

Griffin made the joke at last year’s Golden Globe Awards (JAN05), leaving Spielberg fuming. But the 44-year-old insists the maverick director should have been more focused on his WAR OF THE WORLDS lead TOM CRUISE’s outrageous declarations of love for KATIE HOLMES, than her harmless humour.

She says, “I think Steven Spielberg has a lot of nerve. I don’t care how big you are, you will not trample on my, or anyone else’s, First Amendment rights. That makes me furious.

“I get a call from the lawyers, and they’re, like, ‘DreamWorks is furious about the whole Dakota Fanning thing, and they’re livid, and Spielberg is personally furious, and DreamWorks is putting you on a list, and they demand an apology.’

“As if War of the Worlds didn’t have bigger fish to fry. With Tom Cruise losing his (mind) on THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW and the TODAY show and everything else, they’re all worried about my Fanning joke, right?”

A spokesman for Spielberg tells PageSix.com, “I think it was made very obvious that people were very upset and they were looking for some sort of an apology. It was a very upsetting thing for a young child and her family.

“Obviously, to Kathy Griffin it was a joke, but why make a joke out of (Fanning)? She’s a terrific young lady who was there with her family, and it was very upsetting.”

No one gives a flying cows buttocks what Kathy has to say. Spieldberg needs to lighten up a little, Dakota can fight her own battles. Also, I?ve been getting reports that that picture may not be Kathy Griffin. No, i’m pretty sure it is.

With photochopping being the rage nowadays, PerezHilton.com hosted a Dakota photochopping contest a few months ago. Some are funny, some are weird, some are ludicrous, some are FUBAR, and some are OMGWTFBBQGRASS.Enjoy!

Here seems to be a decent movie site (if you disregard the absolutely horrible design) trying to be anti-hollywood, only they seem to talk about blockbuster hits than indie films. In a recent article, they find it necessary to go all schadenfreude on the people they make their money on. I’m obligated to agree that Hilary Duff (#45) is getting too old, but when we hit Dakota (#49), they go all 5th grade on us. When someone makes fun of Dakota, I laugh, but these guys have no idea what they are talking. The whole entry is about icky coodies, nothing about Dakota being too ubiquitous, her over mature manor, her talent, or her teeth. They might as well pick on the 10 year old next door as they don?t make any points at all. Filmthreat really seems to be running out of ideas as two on the list are groups, one is an activity, one a genre, and on the bottom is one of their own editors. Quick, someone call up the writers from Smallville stat! They need some expert consultation!

It has come to my attention that there is a petition to shut down this site. I don?t take kindly to petitioners. So i have made my own petition to stop the petition. That’s right, you fight fire with petitions because the penis mightier than the sword.

Lock and load, Sign my petition now!

Common people we need more signatures than the Stop Ashlee petition, which currently has over four hundred fitty thousand(450,000) signatures. Unfortunately since then she has released another top selling album, season 2 of her show, and did a sell out cross country tour. Go Ashlee!

I don’t know how you define blonde where you come from, but my definition is a lot more fun.

According to an IMDB post (they are NEVER wrong) Dakota is pregant[sic]! It seems some paparazzi has snapped some revealing pictures. I swear I didn’t do it! Ok fine I did, but I’m not paying child support! She has way more than enough money. Ok time to pull out before this gets awkward:

Here are the incriminating aforementioned pictures:

And for your viewing pleasure, an archive of the thread because I knew they would take it down:

I like how they made Dakota look like a 40 year old woman. Thats like double too high. You get a negative clock.