From the director of Equilibrium, the movie the put Christian Bale on the map into Batman, here is Ultraviolet. Will this be Mila’s Equilibrium or her Catwoman? If many pretty colors mean anything, then YES! (what does yes mean? It means whatever the hell I want it to mean!)

It seems that Jolie is mega preggers and just can’t hide it any longer. Watch for some photochopping of what the little one will look like.In other pregger news, Coldplay dude and Gwenith Paltrow have finally thought of another insane name to complement Apple. Number two is named “Capone,” as in the mobster from the ’20s. I guess they thought it would be funny when rounding up their children: Al, Capone get over here now!

The #3 fad of 2005 continues on and is taking an early lead to be #1 in 2006. That’s right, along with Dakota, everyone in hollywood is preggers. Ok not everyone, excluding the male of the species and girls who can’t them to spend the night, everyone seems to want their little own (just like Dakota). LiLo marks the top of our list. I’ll spare you the pages of insaness and drama and just say she’s skinny and mess up because she drinks too much because her album sucks cuz she sings about her daddy in prison as she is vomitting in the hospital cuz she has asthma and this run on sentence will never end.

Rumored to be pregnant (pretty much means they are 110% true)

1. Linsey Lohan
2. Jennifer Aniston
3. Angelina Jolie
4. Hilary Duff

Pregnant or on the opposite LiLo diet (hopefully not the lather so I can put up more countdown sites)

1. Gwen 1
2. Gwen 2
3. Katie Holmes
4. Melania Trump
5. Mera Sorvino
6. Michelle Branch

Spied photo of Linsays assistant:

When you are at a hospital and need to be sure you are pregnant, EPT. THE ONLY TEST.

Looks like the new Hollywood fad this season is getting pregant. According to the prestigious and 100% accurate celebrity news site, handbag, Naomi Watts is also with child. Now a dinosaurific 36, she has been trying to have a babeh since 19 (kinda late, look at Dakota). Current candidates for the father include boyfriend Liev Schreiber, Kevin Federline, and/or King Kong.

On a seprate note, Gwen has finally official announced she is pregant. It has been in speculation for a week now, but we know all hollywood gossip is true anyways, so this should come as no suprise. We should see l.a.m.b. baby collection at Babies R Us soon.

Gwen thinks she’s sneaky trying to hide it…

According to an IMDB post (they are NEVER wrong) Dakota is pregant[sic]! It seems some paparazzi has snapped some revealing pictures. I swear I didn’t do it! Ok fine I did, but I’m not paying child support! She has way more than enough money. Ok time to pull out before this gets awkward:

Here are the incriminating aforementioned pictures:

And for your viewing pleasure, an archive of the thread because I knew they would take it down: